That Time I Just Sorta Left.

Tonight I left the house as soon as Drake walked in.

I had had it.

You know, a day full of screaming, tantrums, flat out refusing, littles being suddenly oblivious to the fact that Mommy is in charge. We even had a pediatrician appointment in there, and only the good Lord knows how we squeezed in some reading practice and handwriting.

It. An even less glamorous than usual day at the Stable.

So here I am at Panera. I ordered a bread bowl, an apple, and water, and I prayed with all my might that no one would see me here in the corner trying yet again to figure out how to gracefully consume a bread bowl. If you've got any pointers on that front, let me know. It's not pretty.

Anyway.

And as to the aforementioned walk-out, I did have dinner on the table for everyone, a dinner that I felt would be agreeable to all Steeds, big and little alike. AndthenIpackedupmystuffandgrabbedmycoatandnearlyrantothecar. Real quick-like. After goodbyes, hugs, and kisses, of course.

I think this might be a first-time event for me. Drake and I had it on the schedule that I would take some time out of the house for myself tonight anyway. But we hadn't really hashed out the mad dash that I decided to make within 5 seconds of his arrival home. He's a good man, that Drake. He calmly picked up our screaming 3 year old, finished pouring milk, and gently told the kids that Mommy had some things to take care of.

Number 1 on the list? Regaining a little sense of sanity.

As far as my vocation goes, I tend to lose a little of myself within it. I love it with all my heart, even in the midst of the sleep deprivation, meal circuses, and overall balancing act that is being a wife and mom. Those things are the makings of sanctity, what I desire most in this life. And as a service to my kids, sometimes I need to step away from it all and take a deep breath or twenty.

As I was chowing down on my bread bowl, I saw a mom of 3 smallish children sitting in a corner booth. And she just kind of sat there, staring at her kids running around. You know, I really felt for her. I know that feeling of paralysis when you feel like you just couldn't possibly handle the crazy for one second longer and just have to check out in some way.

I think the ideal in motherhood is to sprinkle in bits of self-care and personal time on a regular basis rather than doing something only when panic-mode hits. I so seldom do this, but I so often reach that point and then try, try again to be consistent about balance.

It's hard. But it's necessary. Totally necessary. I used to think it was selfish to ever go anywhere without at least one of my kids...selfish to even consider it, much less actually follow through with it. But a mentor mom encouraged me to see how much I was actually serving my family by taking time to do something enriching (aka, don't spend the personal time scrolling through email or FB for the umpteenth time), something that will revive my soul (which might look different from how you would spend your time) and have a fresh smile on my face and genuine hugs for my husband and children upon my return home.

Sometimes I go to adoration, especially if mass didn't happen earlier in the day. Sometimes I buy a $2 coffee and write. Sometimes I go to a park with a good book. Sometimes I hit the gym or go on a brisk walk.

What do you do to take care of you?