Is That Okay by You?

I've done a lot of people-pleasing in my day. You know, the usual stuff. Doing things so that others will take notice, not doing things for fear of what others might think. Watering down what needs to be said more firmly. I've actually been at this for about 30 years, so I've become quite the expert in the areas of pride, vanity, and self-admiration.

Sad, but true.

I go back and forth about blogging all the gosh darn time, and when it comes down to it I've found 2 things to be true about publicly posting anything: I always enjoy writing, and I always worry about what others are thinking of me after reading a post. Always. Without exception. I let you make me paranoid, dear reader. Sometimes that 'publish' button has a lot of power over me.

But what exactly is the purpose of blogging? For some, blogging pays the bills. For others, blogging is a way to connect with others. Blogging can be a way to keep an electronic version of family updates, accessible to friends near and far. And for some, blogging is simply a place to write -- nothing more, nothing less, take it or leave it.

The latter is what I aspire to. I'm not looking to earn money from it, nice as that might be. If connection happens by happy circumstance as a result of something I post, then that's bonus, and I do hope you'll fill the combox with whatever comes to mind. I'm not using this blog solely to post family updates, though those will be scattered throughout.  Maybe you think I should set my sights higher, but alas, I'm trying to let this blog serve me, not I serve the blog. And if you're unhappy, dear reader, I think it will take you a full .01 seconds to move on to another blog. Sorrynotsorry.

I worry that my writing doesn't measure up to the Jens, Bonnies, and Jennys of the blogosphere (read: it doesn't). Mom blogs are all. over. the web, and I worry that people won't want to have a real-life conversation with me because 'they've already read that in my blog.' That has actually been said to me before while sharing a meal with a friend. I worry that people won't check in with me anymore because of a similar reason...that I've said anything I might have to share in my blog already so we'll just carry on as usual. I worry that I'm not tech-savvy enough, though technology has never thrilled me in the slightest.

Here's the rub: this is a blog. It gives a glimpse into something that's been on my mind, something I need to process, or something I want to share. It's a place for me to write. It's not the entirety of who I am, and I hope that I can write in this space while still having very genuine, in person/phone friendships with you, whether you're near or far. I hope we can share our differences, here or in person. I hope we can have logical conversation in a spirit of openness and understanding. You might read things here that you agree with wholeheartedly, and you might question the truth of other things that I post. That's okay by me, and maybe it's agreeable to you, too.

And now that we've established some common ground, I feel a bit more free to post here. Click on over if you so choose! Heck, you might just be privy to some recent photos of little Steeds in an upcoming post...in between bouts of packing, of course!