The Mister.

You know who I love the most? This guy:

Drake and I recently celebrated 7 years of wedded bliss. And truly, when I look back on our married life to date, I am filled with gratitude for the great gift of sharing life with him. We have known the grad school life for the majority of our marriage as he is about to complete the fifth (and final...can you believe it?) year of his doctorate, so it's odd to us to think that this is actually not how most families start out. But as I've mentioned before, we're not big on conforming to standards and things so we figured, heck, why not take on a full-time doctorate, have 4 kids, move several times, homeschool, and everything in between?

So we did. Thanks to a novena we prayed to St. Joseph who really opened my heart to the possibility.

And now, here we are...me, a happy mama to 4 gorgeous babies and Drake, a doctor of psychology and husband/father extraordinaire.

Now don't be fooled. It hasn't been a cakewalk. And it still isn't. In fact, it's often taken an intentional act of the will to say 'yes' to our Lord and to one another while every emotion inside us is screaming, 'Nooooooo!' And sometimes the little ones around us are actually physically screaming which makes it all the more infuriating sanctifying.

I remember Drake telling me during an especially difficult time in the program that students pursuing this are most likely to drop out during the first or fourth year as those are just uniquely arduous. We were both really feeling the burn of the program during that fourth year, and when I heard that students have been known to drop out even after being over halfway done, I believed it. I also thought it meant that Drake would need to spend even more time away. But you know, I married a good one, and it was during that year that he suggested a weekly date night out for us.

This was big.

In fact, I'd say it was a turning point in our marriage, and I never expected it to come in the midst of academic craziness when the stakes were so high and internship right around the corner. Doing this required a few things:

1. Babysitting from a very willing and wonderful grandma who lived 10 minutes away.

2. Creativity to do this on the cheap.

3. Clearing our schedules.

That third little item was the kicker and is what has made all the difference: simply taking time for one another and for nothing else. Having this weekly date night is something we build our schedules around, rather than the other way around...only taking time to spend together when time and energy fall into our laps. We prioritize one another, and we're all the better for it. It's what we promised in front of our family, our friends, and our God 7 short years ago.

And really, doing it this way makes so much more sense, doesn't it? Since when did to-do's (which are never-ending for our family) become more important than people? And what were we even doing on that altar but promising to devote our lives to helping get the other to Heaven? That's something that simply cannot happen without great effort and intention. And our weekly dates are part of that. Since we've moved away from grandparents and we have yet to find a money tree to support us in grad school, our dates are often quite simple and in the quiet of our own home rather than out somewhere. But there's beauty in the simplicity, and it helps us appreciate the times out together...like the time we stumbled upon a rodeo. Yep. You read that right. A real-live rodeo, complete with bulls, cowboys, and stench. But that's a bit beside the point.

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret...

Ready?

We often take more than one night a week for one another.

I know. Crazy, but true. In true Steed fashion.


These frequent date nights often mean that dishes don't get washed that night and are waiting in the morning. Sometimes it means that the floor is unswept when we head to bed or that the laundry-folding must wait until later in the week. On occasion the bills wait until the next day or the garbage gets taken out the following morning rather than the night before. But it is always worth it. Always.

Drake, my love, here's to many more 'adult drinks' on the front porch, singing in the living room, bowls of popcorn, discussions of philosophy, and episodes of LOST.

I love you!